Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize