Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
