i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
