i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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