Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
