it was like eating out sand paper
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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