ugly people sure do ruin things
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
worst night to have a conscience
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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