But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She needs sedatives and a leash
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm bleeding and have questions
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
