A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
should my penis look like a turkey
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
