You work out of a Hotel?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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