took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You have to summon your inner elephant
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize