her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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