Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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