Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
