I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
