No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
