I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
