apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
