Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
