I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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