over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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