I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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