if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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