Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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