Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
