She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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