also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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