Don't you send me to vm
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
