I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
