Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
