I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
