can we get nightvision for the apartment?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i need some magic done to my vagina
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize