chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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