There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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