watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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