What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
