This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
