This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
