So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
