Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
