His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
