Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
