Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
