Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
