He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
