Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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