I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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