So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Still dying that you shit outside
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
