I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
