so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
