I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
