Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
