He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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