ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
