the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
